A letter to the critical part of me…

A letter to the critical part of me…

Dear critical me,

Shut up! Leave me alone, let me be. I don’t have the energy right now for yet another internal argument.

OK, you don’t think I am good enough… OK, you don’t think I can do it… OK, you think that everyone is judging me…  But how do you know? What are you basing your ideas on, and why are you so reluctant to change?

I get it, you are good for me. You are, you drive me. You push me to work hard, to do well. Without you, I wouldn’t have achieved anywhere near as much as I have, and for that I am grateful. But, I guess what I want to know is why do you have to be so mean? Why do you have to turn life into an argument? Why can you not support me without insulting me?

Would it be so bad to let me leave the house sometimes without telling me that what I am wearing makes me look fat, or that my hair is fluffy? Would it be terrible to let me have a conversation without making me question everything I say to the point where it is easier not to speak? Would it be a disaster to let me make a decision without telling me that it is wrong and everyone is going to think badly of me? I mean, does it really matter if the restaurant isn’t perfect, the movie not great, or cookies would have been better than chocolate digestives as a snack?

Why not let me write a blog, a Facebook post, or send a tweet without making me analyse every single word to the point where I am so unhappy with it that I rewrite it 20 times before deleting it and giving up? Perfectionism is OK, but you know it is impossible? Doing something, even if it isn’t 100% perfect, is probably better than doing nothing.

I guess what I am trying to say to you is that I know you mean well, but can we work together rather than against each other? Don’t go away completely, keep me motivated, keep me modest, but don’t focus purely on the negative, register the positive as well. Realise that I am OK, I am more competent and more confident than you think I am, and that somethings don’t need to be over thought!

OK, now we have that sorted… shall we do some work?

Sincerely,

Me

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